I hate my job

What a dilemma: the economy is terrible right now. I can't just quit my job and go out and expect to get another job working somewhere else in my line of work. Or somewhere related to my line of work ... it's not that I'm not grateful for my job; I certainly am. It's just that with every passing day I am reminded more and more that my usefulness here has long passed, especially since they don't value my length of service in this job, they don't appreciate my level of experience. They pretty much let the newbie kids run the show, and it really rankles my chains!

It doesn't help that I keep making mistakes of the "senior" variety also. Last night's show was pretty horrible. Thank GOD above that all that happened on a Saturday night. And nobody's going to look at the fact that despite our maladies last night, we all showed up to do our job, and we felt our mistakes deeply ... I could go on and on.

And that's just it, I don't want to go on and on anymore! I'm happy to pass the torch, I have no more use for this business myself, I just can't figure out where I'm supposed to go next.

Actually I do know what I'm supposed to do, I just don't have the guts to take the plunge ...

Apathy

My attitude toward my career has truly sunk to a new low. I used to be passionate about it; now I direct all my energy toward being politically correct in the eyes of my superiors. I pretend to be interested. Deep down, I really couldn't care less, and the worst part is, nobody notices. Nobody notices because nobody knows how to spell correctly, nobody pays attention to detail. Oh but I see it - I see it and let it go anymore, hoping someone will notice. But nobody says anything. And the more nobody says anything the more it drives my apathy deeper and deeper.

I don't really feel angry anymore. That's part of the problem! I just simply do not care. I look at the clock, try to figure out how much more I have to put up with it (just 5 more hours, just one more half-hour show), and do my best to get by. I've learned how to make myself invisible around here, which ironically is exactly what the bosses/supervisers want. You will be invisible if you are: everywhere at once; putting out fires; or just generally picking up the slack that is constantly lying around here. I will do those things, but that is purely personnel management most of the time. It has nothing to do with journalism or accuracy and it sure as HELL has nothing to do with bettering our community.

No one cares.

We are all caught together in this curious quagmire of keeping visits to the boss's office down to a bare minimum. That's all this job means to anyone anymore. And it's not just here ... it's all across the country.

My wish, if I could have one: that I live long enough to see it turn around...